What to do?

So I've been thinking lately and I'm not sure what course of action I'm going to take.

Do I stay here in Pittsburgh for a few years or do I move back to Maine when my lease is up?

If I stay here I'll continue to work and possibly go back to school.

If I move back to Maine I can go back to my old jobs, at least on per diem basis so job hunting won't really be an issue, plus I'll be closer to friends & family (whom I miss a whole bunch) and I'd possibly go back to school.

Pittsburgh is fun, its a great city and there's opportunity here but my family & friends are in Maine.

Hehehe, AssCam

Cranky Prof lays out all the anticipation & anxiety of going in for the AssCam for the first time. I can't possibly top it, so go read.

Tears

Emergency Emily directs her readers to a post by Buzzard, an ER doc serving in Iraq. She says that this post will bring you to tears. What I started as a comment on her blog must be made a post on mine.

No, that post will not make me tear up. That post will make cry. That post will make me wipe my tears on the back of my hand so that I can see enough to continue reading it. That post will make me have to run to the bathroom to get tissues. That post will remind me to say a prayer for my brother-in-law and for all American soldiers in the hopes that they can do their best to avoid harm and avoid having to bury their comrades. I have had the honor of attending the funeral of an American soldier; I felt a duty to go. To pay my respects to a man who has chosen to serve his nation in a time of unrest. He was willing to give his life for his fellow man and his life was ripped away from him by someone who holds no regard for the sanctity of human life. I am speechless, I truly am because I have no means of expressing how strongly I feel that all human life is sacred, but the man who risks his life for the safety and security of his countrymen is just something else, something incomprehensible

This is my ambulance...

Heh, I forgot that I had posted this in my myspace page until just now. I adapted this to fit EMS. Yeah, I know I'm a total whacker.

This is my ambulance. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My ambulance is my best friend. It is my life. I must master its tools as I must master my life.
My ambulance, without me, is useless. Without my ambulance, I am useless. I must steer my ambulance true.
I must care for my patient who is trying to die. I must treat him before he deteriorates.

My ambulance and myself know that what counts in this war is not the patients we see, the noise of our siren, nor the lights we flash.
We know that it is the compassion that counts.

My ambulance is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its engine and its transmission.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage.
I will keep my ambulance clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

Before God, I swear this creed. My ambulance and myself are the defenders of health.
We are the masters of trauma and malaise. We are the savers of life.

So be it, until health is America's and there is no enemy, but MRSA!

Desire to Serve

My brother-in-law is in the Army, he is First Sergeant Richard Tufts, I admire him, I am proud to call him family I wish that in the past I had taken the opportunity to really talk to him. In the time when I met Rick I had no desire to serve my country, I wish now that I was a different person then. I wish that when my sister married him that I could have been the person that I am now and maybe paid better attention. Had that been the case maybe I would have chosen to serve when I was in a capacity to.

I wish that I knew ten years ago the things that I know now. I would have been a different person then and I would have chosen a different path. I now wish that I could serve my fellow man in a different manner. Over the past year I have had the opportunity to truly get to know two citizen soldiers- both EMS providers, both men who have chosen to serve their country. And I can truly say that I admire the both of them. One is currently serving in his capacity as an Army flight medic in Iraq. The other is to be deployed in September of this year. Despite the danger, despite the risks of enlisting during a time of war and a time of unrest in the world I wish that I could enlist. Had I known ten years ago that I would one day have a desire to serve my nation I would have done it. Today I am out of shape and in no condition to serve in the military and so I continue to serve my fellow man by being an EMS provider. I am a paramedic. I go to work every day to care for others and to serve the public in the manner that I have chosen and I shall do this day in and day out until I find another way to serve. When I finished paramedic school I figured that I had a good five years in which I would work in this capacity before I grew restless and now as those five years are almost up I am finding myself looking for a greater challenge. I wish I knew what that challenge might be instead of spending my days wondering what I can do next.

Career Boredom

Career boredom

There is absolutely nothing that I hate more than moving and when I settled here in Pittsburgh I decided that I would stay put for a while. After three months those memories and hatred toward moving are starting to fade and I’m once again growing restless. I’m not entirely convinced that my restlessness is really a desire to move back to Maine or to some other place in the country. I think that my restlessness is merely the manifestation of my boredom with my career. In Maine I worked as a street medic and shift supervisor now that I’m here in South West Pennsylvania and there is no longer a possibility of a supervisory position due to circumstances beyond my control I’m once again growing restless.

Upon completing my paramedic education I figured I was good for about five years as a street medic, well, my five years are soon to be up. Back in Maine I was a shift supervisor and that worked well for me, when I came here I enjoyed the decreased level of responsibility but I knew it wouldn’t last and now I need something more. Don’t get me wrong, I love where I work now and I work with a great group of EMS providers but I need something more than being “just a street medic.”

The years preceding my move the major stumbling block to getting out of my own way to get on the road and go was giving up all that I had established in Maine. In Maine I had a solid established career- established rapport with hospital staff and the comfort of knowing that I knew the Maine EMS system and its protocols inside and out. Moving here and working in another state took me outside of my comfort zone and during my acclimation I enjoyed not having a supervisory role. Over the past few months I’ve grown comfortable with my job here and I’m finding now that I need to be in a position of greater responsibility in order to find happiness/challenge.

More Linky Lovin!

Hey all I want you to go and check out Dave over at My Simple Little Life, he's a new blogger but I'm sure he'll put up some great stuff. He's a news producer here in Pittsburgh and he's just an all around swell guy, despite being afraid of spicy food. Go on and read him, send him some lovin' & encouragement