Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Charlie Brown Christmas

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.' That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

-Linus Van Pelt

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Someone Like You.


In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger is a paranormal double of a living person, typically representing evil or misfortune. In the vernacular, the word has come to refer to any double or look-alike of a person. The word also is used to describe the sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection. Doppelgängers often are perceived as a sinister form of bilocation and are regarded by some to be harbingers of bad luck.

In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person's friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one's own doppelgänger is an omen of death.

For years I have been in love with someone who I cannot have and I've finally come to the conclusion that subconsciously I have been trying to fill his place with his doppelgänger. However the great problem is, that if I find his doppelgänger, then they will eventually meet. If one were to give any weight to the folklore, then my finding his doppelgänger would be an omen of illness or danger, for them to meet would be an omen of his death and I would forever lose him. If I were a superstitious person then I could say that this is the reason why I shall forever be alone- I love him and for him I wish only happiness and peace and I cannot bring illness or death upon him.


And this is the reason why I shall forever be alone.

Friday, September 30, 2011

I've made it!

I've made the Gun Blog Blacklist!

Cue audible squee in 3....2....

Friday, September 16, 2011


Kilted to Kick Cancer is well under way and we're making progress. Ambulance Driver posted fundraising results earlier and apparently you've been donating to the cause!

After reading the results I realized that I hadn't set myself up to collect donations for LiveStrong, however that has been fixed. (See below)

As of right now I am still kilt-less, however I'm looking to remedy that situation soon. Other bloggers have thrown down some interesting challenges. if JayG comes out on top he's going to wear a skirt. if Ambulance Driver finishes first he's going to post pics of himself in full drag. Stingray is offering to live blog is own prostate exam.

I'm going to have to ramp things up here kids. What self-depreciating or moderately humiliating act can I commit to if I come out on top. I'm looking for ideas here folks.

Suggestions are welcome and in the mean time  you kids need to make with the clicky and donate!

Prostate Cancer Foundation -

When my kilt comes in, there will be pics. In the mean time visit the Kilted to Kick Cancer website  for more information.

Monday, September 12, 2011

QOTD - Borepatch

Supplied to us via BorePatch commenting on this ass hattery.

Can everyone who ever said that a village in Texas was missing its idiot shut up and sit down in the back of the room?  Grown ups are talking. -Bore Patch

Seriously, Barry O? Are you fucking kidding me?

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Ten years ago my public safety career was in it's infancy. The events that transpired on this day hardened my resolve to dedicate my life to what I now do. Every day that I go to work I do so knowing that there is a chance that something horrific that could happen, yet I go and I do it anyway. While we cannot focus on the dangers of our job, we must never forget what could happen to us and what has happened to others.

Always remember the sacrifice that our brothers & sisters in EMS, law enforcement and the fire service made that day. Never forget that they were the ones who blindly went running into battle that day, despite the fear that they must have felt. They did so not because it was their job, but because they knew it had to be done.

If you ask me who I admire, I will tell you that it is my colleagues in public safety. I consider myself blessed that every day I go in to work, for I walk amongst giants.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Did you know....

The Facts
Prostate cancer is the most common non-skin cancer in America, affecting 1 in 6 men.
The older you are, the more likely you are to be diagnosed with prostate cancer.
A man with a father or brother who developed prostate cancer is twice as likely to develop the disease.
For men in the U.S., the risk of developing prostate cancer is 17%.
Prostate and testicular cancers kill just as many men as breast cancer kills women, yet breast cancer receives 50 times more money for research than prostate cancer.

The Challenge
September is Prostate Cancer Awareness month. For the entire month of September my goal is to wear a kilt every day that I'm not in uniform or required to dress in a certain manner. There are a bunch of bloggers who are participating in this challenge. Our goal is raise funds for prostate and testicular cancer research.

The Fundraising
Make with the clicky and go here -
That is my unique link for donations for the Prostate Cancer Foundation
When my kilt comes in, there will be pics. In the mean time visit the Kilted to Kick Cancer website  for more information.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Advice to a friend

"Awesome class tonight, Im pumped for the coming months! :D"

Ahh, the start of medic school. Remember this Facebook status when you're getting ready to test out. Remember how excited you were to start. Then, about four years in, curse the day you ever thought about becoming a paramedic, then two years after that, remember that you do something that makes you happy and lets you have an impact on others.

Good luck. Study hard. Ask questions. Figure out why, not 'just because', and always remember that despite the IV's, the tubes, the cric's, the decompressions, the cardioversions and the drugs, the best treatment we can offer is to listen, to hold a hand and to bear witness to life and to death.

This job will make you cry, both from sadness and happiness and also because your brain just doesn't know what else to do. Remember that this is okay, for you are human and the best thing that we can do for our patients is to be human and remember that despite the reason for your contact with them, they are human too.

You will do well. I have faith in you.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Musings on my musings

Believe it or not I have a handful of posts floating around in my head, but right now they would be more suitable for an angst ridden Livejournal account than for this blog. I'm trying my best not to be emo. Hopefully there will be decent content to follow soon.

Monday, July 4, 2011

July 4th, 2011

This year,  as we mark the birth of our nation I find myself standing a little taller as we celebrate the Independence Day holiday. A few months ago my mother gave me a copy of's genealogy software and that has sparked a renewed interest in my family history. When I was young I was given a copy of my family history traced back to the 1560 in London, England. I've always been a bit of a history buff and I've always been fascinated by Colonial & Revolutionary American history. This past weekend granted members access to the archives of the Son's of the American Revolution Membership Application Archive, and so just for kicks I plugged in a name and found that my great, great, great, great, great grand-father served in the Revolution.

Found in the Massachusetts Soldiers & Sailors of the American Revolution Archive is the following:

Jesse Smith appears with the rank of private on Lexington Alarm Roll of Captain Peter Talbot’s Company, Col. Lemuel Robinsons Regiment which marched on the alarm of the 19th April 1775 from Stoughton, belonged in Stoughton. Length of service 7 days.

 Jesse Smith, private on the Muster and Pay Roll of Captain Simon Leaches Company, Col Benjamin Gills Regiment Enlisted March 4th 1776 served five days, Belonged in Stoughton
Marched to fortify Dorchester Heights

I have learned that I am not only the descendent of a Massachusetts Bay Colonoy militiaman, but I am the direct descendent of a Minute Man who fought at the Battle of Lexington & Concord!

That being what it is, let us never forget the document that sparked the birth of our great nation.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and
altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

John Hancock

New Hampshire:Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Go. Read.

In lieu of actual content. Go read Epi's latest post.

Turns out I've got something in my eye anyway.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

On Government Shut Downs

Ok kids, lets get down to business.

So, it looks like the just might shut down for a little while. While some opine that it is no big deal, it really is. Yes, personnel who are considered essential, that being military, law enforcement, air traffic control, etc. will get back pay, however, nonessential personnel will be out of work, quite possibly without retroactive pay and all nonessential services stop.

Lets take a look at the government shutdown of fiscal year 1996:

 New patients were not accepted into clinical research at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) clinical center; the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ceased disease surveillance; hotline calls to NIH concerning diseases were not answered and toxic waste clean-up work at 609 sites reportedly stopped and resulted in 2,400 Superfund workers being sent home.

Delays occurred in the processing of alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and explosives applications by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms; work on more than 3,500 bankruptcy cases reportedly
was suspended; cancellation of the recruitment and testing of federal law enforcement officials reportedly occurred, including the hiring of 400 border patrol agents; and delinquent child-support cases were delayed

Closure of 368 National Park Service sites (loss of 7 million visitors) reportedly occurred, with loss of tourism revenues to local communities; and closure of national museums and monuments (reportedly with an estimated loss of 2 million visitors) occurred

Approximately 20,000-30,000 applications by foreigners for visas reportedly went unprocessed each day; 200,000 U.S. applications for passports reportedly went unprocessed; and U.S. tourist industries and airlines reportedly sustained millions of dollars in losses

Of $18 billion in Washington, DC, area contracts, $3.7 billion (over 20%) reportedly were affected adversely by the funding lapse; the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) was unable to issue a new standard for lights and lamps that was scheduled to be effective January 1, 1996, possibly resulting in delayed product delivery and lost sales; and employees of federal contractors reportedly were furloughed without pay.

All that having been said, federal income tax returns will not be processed, but you can bet your ass that federal income tax returns will still have to be filed on April 18th or taxpayers will face penalties despite the fact that there's no one in the office to file the paperwork.

So yeah, it actually is a big deal. It may sound simple, however a government shutdown has a profound impact upon the economy, which is already in the shitter, thanks to the government.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Holy balls, I haven't posted in well over a month yet I'm still getting my usual number of daily hits. What ails you people, anyway?

I'd love to write something epic here, but that just isn't going to happen so instead I'll leave you with an update.

1.) I've moved.
A bit over two years ago I moved back to Maine from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and moved in with my parents. I did this out of a sense of guilt over the declining health of my grandfather and the fact that while home on vacation my mother had a haircut that made it appear as though she had aged 15 years in the five months since I had last seen her. I've come to realize that moving back  home because of a haircut was foolish. I've moved closer to work and civilization. I now have a 9 mile commute to work instead of a 30 mile commute.

2.) I've bought a new (to me) car.
The Xterra is no more. I got sick of the payment and since I'm no longer commuting through a very rural area I'm okay with not having four wheel drive any more. I picked up a 2003 VW Jetta TDI (diesel baby!) and I've cut my car payment, and my auto insurance and I've more than doubled my fuel economy. It's pretty sweet to get 46.77 miles per gallon of fuel.

3.) I love being a paramedic.
My desk job at the hospital has reminded me of how much I love being a paramedic. I will admit that I was pretty burned out for a while and this job has reminded me that I belong on an ambulance. I'm even getting back to being a hand-holder.

That's it for now. More content to follow. Maybe.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Forever in the Friend Zone

I’m really getting sick of hearing the phrase “you’re a nice guy…” Yeah, I know I’m a nice guy, thanks for reinforcing that. I do my best to be a nice guy, to be a good friend to be supportive of others. I’m the go-to guy when someone has a problem and needs someone to talk to so why is it that when I’m feeling down and want to talk then no one is around? I realize we’ve all got problems and I try not to be a whiny bitch but sometimes I need to talk things out too.

I’m tired of being lonely. I’m tired of being the third wheel whenever I go out with my friends. I’m glad they’re happy, I really am, but there are some days when I wonder when happiness will come my way. Don’t I deserve love too? I’m really starting to wonder if maybe my misery is how I have to pay off some karmic debt and that I don’t deserve to have someone to love and to love me.

All I want is companionship. I don’t want to find someone to marry, I just want to find someone whom I can be with and commiserate with and celebrate with; someone to come home to at the end of the day; someone that I look forward to seeing. I miss that feeling of butterflies in my stomach just before I am kissed. I miss the feeling of someone’s fingers intertwined with mine.

I’m starting to believe that my greatest fear will come to life- that I will die in a nursing home, alone, miserable and lonely. I came across something I wrote a long time ago, just after I had broken up with someone who really meant a lot to me and I find that it applies today just as it did then.

I find that when I get really lonely I hold my own hand just to feel my fingers intertwined and wish that it was someone else that held on to me. And I let my fingers dance across my skin, along my forearm, inside the crease of my elbow, behind my neck, across my shoulders, just to remind myself what it's like to be touched again. And I whisper his name in the darkness knowing that I'm all alone in my bed and that he's not there with me, and that once again I'll wake up all alone.

I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but I'm not going to hold my breath.