Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Lessons Learned

So, a few years ago I won an argument with my roommate. He didn't believe that anyone could go online and place an order with Galls and buy handcuffs without them verifying that you were a law enforcement officer. So, to prove him wrong I went online and ordered a pair, solely for the purpose of proving a point, not for any recreational activities.

Now, for years I have kept a handcuff key on my person while at work, it just makes it easier sometimes when treating prisoners. Earlier today I got to wrestling around with a friend and he knows how incredibly ticklish I am and he threatened to tie me up and attach my feet. I responded to this by finding my handcuffs and slapping one on to his wrist. He was in the process of trying to get the other one on to my ankle while I was trying to get it onto his other wrist when I thought "OH FUCK! my cuff key is on my keychain at work, not on my dresser!" needless to say Justin was a bit miffed, but we laughed about it all the way to the base so I could get the key. I'm just glad he didn't get it on to my ankle- it would have been a bitch to get down the stairs to drive to the base.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Another Photo

So, it has been a while since I've posted a photo on here so I thought I'd put up a photo of my nephew, Thomas. More commonly known The Cutest Baby EVER. Because it has been a while I'll put up two photos of TCBE. The first photo is of Thomas at just a few days old, he was born 10 weeks premature and spent a total of nine weeks in the NICU and step down nursery as a result.

The second photo is of Thomas at about 14 months. He turns two this week and despite the set backs that resulted from his early birth he is right full of spit & vinegar and is right where he should be developmentally. He is our family's proof that miracles happen every day.

Monday, June 16, 2008

fuck me running

So, I thought I was going to be able to move back to Maine soon. I talked to my old bosses about going back to work, I started looking for apartments, then I talked to my current landlord and depsite the fact that there's a sublet clause in my lease agreement, he has told me that he will not allow me to sublet because years ago he had a bad experience with one of his tenants who he allowed to sublet.

I am not. fucking. happy.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Pain Scales

When you are sitting in the back of my ambulance and after I ask you three times to hang up your cell phone as you're laughing while you talk to your mom about the car wreck you were just in and I ask you about your pain and you rate it at 14 on a scale of 1 to 10, then you're full of shit.

From now on I’m going to give all of my patients Scalpel's Pain Scalel then I’ll use Nurse K’s method for pain evaluation.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wednesday Weigh In

Hey, lookey here, I'm actually posting the Wednesday Weigh In on Wednesday! That's some crazy shit. So today's measurements are as follows.

Starting Weight - 317.0
Current Weight - 304.0
Percent Change - 4.1%

Starting BMI - 39.6
Current BMI - 38.0
Percent Change - 1.6%

So that's 13lbs lost in one month's time. So far so good, now when I add more physical activity into the mix then maybe we'll see an increase in the rate of my weight loss. Wish me luck!

Things not to say

A couple of weeks ago a coworker's father passed away, he came back to work and upon leaving at the end of his shift commented that he was heading home to mow the lawn. Given the heat my supervisor remarked "Hope you have a riding lawn mower." You know, so that it is less work for him. The moment the coworker was out the door another EMT said to the supervisor "Dude, you know his dad died of an MI while mowing the lawn, right?"

Needless to say a phone call was made the the employees foot so the supervisor could apologize and extract his foot from his mouth.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Wednesday Weigh In

Okay, so this one is a little behind schedule and they've been missing altogether for the past couple of weeks. Some of my coworkers have decided that they don't want to weigh in every week and after my vacation back to Maine for a week I was a little reluctant to step onto the scale myself, but that being said after this Wednesday's weigh in my weight is down to 307.6, this is down 9.4lbs from my starting weight of 317.0, meaning that I have lost 3.0% of my body weight so far. 9.4lbs isn't too bad for one month's weight lost, especially considering after my trip I managed to put a couple of pounds back on

Monday, June 2, 2008


To the sanctimonious asshat who drives up and down XYZ Avenue while presumably searching for a parking space all the while blasting your stereo at ear shattering volumes I beg you to stop. While sitting inside my third story apartment, buttoned up tight with the air conditioner running I could still perfectly understand the lyrics to the shit music you were playing. Now I don't begrudge anyone for their choice in music, some think that I listen to odd music, so please, continue to listen to whatever you like, but have some god damned fucking respect for the rest of the motherfucking people who inhabit the space around you.

From my kitchen window I have a great vantage point, some days I'm tempted to just shoot out your tires while sitting at my kitchen table.

Please, stop being such a huge douchebag.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Today's Lesson Learned

When making ballistic gelatin in your home laboratory (kitchen) measure precisely and worry not about the gelatin coming off of your whisk.