Stingray makes me giggle

Being the avid fan of Vicious Circle that I am, whenever I read a rant by either of the Atomic Nerds I can't help but hear their voice inside my head. Today's giggle fit comes to us thanks to a rant by StingRay.

With that one little ad, OnStar has absolutely positively made certain that I will never own or operate their monkey-felching syphillitic aids-weasel of a product. There is no fucking way in dildoslurping shitfuck that I want anybody other than the driver with that kind of control over my car. I’m glad the bad guy got caught, but the potential for some chicken fucking corpse diddler to abuse this system is so profoundly out of proportion to its possible beneficial applications that I am frankly appalled that when the idea was floated, the sister-fucking ass munching paragon of privacy violation wasn’t kicked in the junk with such force as to render whatever pus-crusted excuse for genitalia the miserable little month-old pile of clown-shit possessed into a fine mist.

I must admit, I LOL'd, literally.

"monkey-felching syphillity aids-weasel of a product"

"no way in dildo-slurping shitfuck"

"chicken fucking corpse diddler"

"sister-fucking ass munching paragon of privacy violation"

Yes, I really am just a 12 year old boy who laughs at name calling.

2012 Rant

These sanctimonious ass clowns that actually think the world is going to end in 2012 fail to understand that while yes, the Mayan calendar does indeed "run out" in 2012, *another* Mayan calendar begins the next fucking day.

TEOTWAWKI is not going to come as a result of some ancient fucking calendar that most people don't fucking understand. It is going to come as a result of motherfucking zombies. ZOMBIES God damn it! How many fucking times do I have to fucking explain this to people?!?.
Fuck I need another drink.
/rant