It's all Tam's fault that I'm ranting about motorists today.
Whilst living in Pittsburgh , I discovered that drivers in Southwest Pennsylvania would do the same as they're apparently doing in Broad Ripple, barreling down the street in a snowstorm and then crawling when warmer precipitation would fall from the sky, meanwhile my Xterra and I would travel along quite nicely at a safe speed, passing them both when they slid off the road and when they would finally get out my my f*cking way in the rain.
Today I had someone shoot be a dirty look when I wouldn't bring my ambulance (with patient on board) to a screeching halt so that they could cross the street in the middle of the block, not 50 feet from a crosswalk. A few years back a memo was put out informing the employees that the public address system is not to be used to address motorists whilst responding to calls. Apparently someone took offense to the deep voice coming from my ambulance saying "PULL TO YOUR RIGHT AND STOP." Often followed by "NO, YOUR OTHER RIGHT!" Fortunately they never heard the full conversation that was going on when the mic wasn't keyed up because I'm quite sure that I would have been written up if a motorist would have heard
Me: "PULL TO THE RIGHT AND STOP YOU IGNORANT MOUTH BREATHING COCKSUCKING SHIT FOR BRAINS DOUCHEBAG, I HOPE YOU DIE MOTHERFUCKER! DIE!"
Partner: "Matt! MATT!! Go to your happy place!"
Me: "But....but they're so stupid...."
1 comment:
They are. And they're in my damn way...
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